Romantic relationships mixed with personal issues

”You’re 20 years old and you’ve never had a boyfriend?!”; that’s how people usually react when I tell them I’ve never been in a relationship. I know most people my age have had plenty of relationships but that’s basically it. They had them but they don’t have them anymore. Big congratulations to those who made it, I’m very happy for them. Being young and wanting to fit in makes us do things we usually wouldn’t do and I think the same thing happens with having a boyfriend/girlfriend. A lot of young people (not only young people though) just want to have fun, experience different things they’ve never experienced before and just feel some kind of thrill I guess. Being raised in a conservative family, which I believe has had quite a big impact on me and my behavior, I’ve never felt the need to experiment with boys, girls, relationships and stuff like that. I’ve always known that by being in a relationship where there is no love, I would only disappoint myself by doing something I never thought was the right thing to do. I’m happy that I’ve always been aware of the fact that relationships established without love, trust, respect and equality are gonna end soon or later. Knowing that, saved me from hurting myself and someone else. I don’t think it’s fine to use someone else’s feelings for your own entertainment. Relationships are complicated and stressful when there’s no general connection between two people. I haven’t experienced it myself but I’ve seen so many people getting hurt because there was no communication and no connection in the relationship they were in. In my opinion, two people who are in a relationship must be comfortable with each other, be best friends with each other and feel the freedom to say how they feel or think. Breakups happen when people jump in it for the wrong reasons which are often these ones: loneliness, boredom, insecurities, pressure to do it because everyone else is doing it or pressure because they’re ”running out of time’… Some of those things are the things that an individual has to work on by themselves. Those are not the things that another person can make better for you. If you know you’re not in a really good place in your life, take the time to find something that’s not gonna make you feel bored when you’re alone. Take the time to work on what makes you insecure about yourself, take the time to learn how to be your own best friend when none else is around. It’s not easy but it’s definitely easier than expecting those things from someone else. None is gonna walk into your life and solve your personal issues. The other person probably has their own issues to deal with. When you feel complete with your own self, that’s when you know you can connect with someone else. The only time you’ll be yourself is when you’ve accepted yourself the way you are and you embrace yourself no matter what other people might think about you. So basically, before you rush into a relationship because you feel some kind of pressure, make sure you know that the consequences of your choices can lead to heartbreak, pain, disappointment, trust issues, and many other problems. Having personal issues, I don’t think you need even more issues to deal with. Be smart, there’s enough time for everything. Love will happen to you sooner or later, but I think it won’t happen until you’ve given love to yourself first.

Love, Albesa

What do you really need?

Seeing news about poor people and children so often inspired me to write this post which is me reflecting to my childhood and my life in general. I grew up surrounded by amazing people which is what I’m very thankful for. My family and I lived in the same house as my uncle, aunt and cousins until I was 13 years old so I definitely do feel like I had 4 parents, which sounds kind of funny. My parents, my uncle and my aunt have offered everything and more to me, my sibilings and my cousins. They made sure we had absolutely everything. We never suffered. We had good people looking after us, we had a lot more food than we really needed and material things such as clothes, shoes and toys that every child likes to have. To cut it short, the life we had and the childhood we had is just amazing. We never really felt like there’s something missing because our parents made sure we had everything that we really needed. I don’t know what it’s like to suffer for food and water like some children do. I don’t know what it’s like to get beaten up every day because alcohol or drugs took over my parents. I feel absolutely heartbroken when I stop for a second and think about the fact that not every child lives the life I lived. Every child, no matter their background, deserves everything needed for a happy and normal life. Children learn fast and they feel things we probably aren’t aware of. They also remember things that we probably don’t think they do which makes me be extra careful with my little brother. I’m not a professional but I would like to address that children can experience trauma at a very young age which can cause problems later in life. If we can help somehow, we should definitely do it. Donating to charity and orphanages is probably the easiest form of help we can offer, yet we never really do it. (If you already do that, great for you!) Maybe we should turn around and see more than just ourselves and our problems. Of course, we’re supposed to take care of ourselves but we should definitely consider doing something for someone who is not able to do the same. Please make sure you value everything that you’ve been offered. Being generally grateful for everything in life is a much easier way of living because instead of counting things you don’t have you actually give attention to the things you do have. A human’s wish to have more is so big, bigger than our imagination. I’m not saying that it’s bad to have wishes but as long as your happiness depends on having more clothes, a better phone or an expensive car, you’ll never really get to know real happiness. In my opinion, true happiness is nothing more and nothing less than our feelings and how we look at the things in life. If we counted our blessings and what we have already have, we would be much happier people, we would stop wishing for more all the time. People like me including myself, who has always had a stable life should be aware of how big of a deal that is. We should appreciate that we haven’t experienced that kind of pain and try helping someone who is not that lucky. Be happy with what you have now, know the value of having a family, being healthy and financially stable. If you want more, make sure you earned it and make sure it’s worth it. Ask yourself this question; ‘what do I really need’? The answer is not going to be that complicated because the list of things we really need is short. Make sure you always go after what you really need first, because that’s where you’ll find true happiness. The rest of the things you want are the things you can have much easier. If you are in a position to do so, help someone else get something from their list of things they really need. That’s probably one of the most beautiful thing you can do, not only for the other person, but for yourself as well. 

The purest form of love is helping others without expecting anything in return.

Love, Albesa

Veganism; my short story

Veganism is, I’m sure you’ve already heard, a lifestyle that promotes a cruelty-free way of life. Vegans don’t consume animal products such as meat, fish, dairy products and eggs,  don’t wear clothes or shoes made of leather or wool and vegans don’t buy products that were tested on animals. My story began in 2013. After struggling with eating disorders for a couple months, I decided to go vegetarian; it’s definitely one of the best decisions I had made till then. Almost four years of being vegetarian passed until I knew I wanted to take the last step towards becoming the best version of myself and go vegan. I finally did it on December 8, 2016. I’m aware that it’s still very strange when people don’t eat meat because it’s something that’s been done for thousands and thousands of years. It’s considered to be human nature; but if it was human nature, how could we survive and be completely healthy without meat and other animal products? If you ask me I think it’s just a habit and habits are not one of the things that people like to change. The past year and this present year count more vegans than ever, and I’m sure, it’s because people are taking their time to realize what’s best for them. A lot of people ask me why won’t I eat eggs or drink milk considering the fact that animals don’t have to die in order to get their eggs or milk. What people aren’t aware of is that animals that produce milk and eggs suffer in cages for years and years before they die. I don’t want to be a part of all that suffering. Never again. I don’t want to make non-vegans feel guilty, I want them to get informed and see what happens in that cruel industry and then decide if they want to be a part of it or not. Living as a vegan makes me happy, peaceful and fulfilled even when other things suck. I may be bad at other things but at least there is one thing I’m good at and that is being kind to every living being not only humans and I don’t think that being kind can be bad for me or you or anyone else.

Vegan for animals, the planet, the future and myself.

Love, Albesa

3:40 AM

 I am writing this post right after talking to my best friends about some tough situations life has been putting us through lately. The way you can connect with people on so many levels has always been amazing to me but this is just different. Me and my three best friends are a small group of people. Very different from each other but yet simmilar enough to understand almost everything each one of us goes through. It’s impossible to always have the right words to say in some tough situations but the endless support means more that any word will ever mean. Let me mention an important detail. Two of my best friends live in my homecountry Kosovo and I live in Croatia with my other best friend who is also my cousin. We spend around 60 out of 365 days together yet the connection we have breaks all the limits. You know how it works? All you really have to do is care and love. Care about people no matter how far away they are from you, care about their well being even if you physically can’t be their crying shoulder. That is what makes a relationship strong and unbreakable. Endless excuses for relationships that didn’t work out (not defining what kind of a relationship) make me tired. I’m tired of people hurting each other because they are confused and don’t know what they want. Isn’t it easier to just let someone go instead of making them believe you care when you actually couldn’t care less? Please be careful with your loved ones and ones you don’t even know. Just be careful naturally, we’re all human. Keep in mind that you don’t need a reason to be nice to people and that being down to earth is a quality, not a weakness. And one more thing, when you tell someone “I love you” make sure you fully understand the meaning of it. Don’t fool yourself.

Love, Albesa x