Hope (full – less)

 I’ve been under control of mixed emotions lately. The worst situation I can find myself in is the one when I don’t know what I want. Some of my days are full of motivation and other days are like “whatever”. How do I explain this? It’s a combination of wanting something but not having enough energy to get it (makes me wonder, do I really want it, is it even important to me?). Some situations include other people which makes it doubly harder. Sometimes we hurt people by pushing them away because we think that that’s exactly what they are going to do to us. It all makes sense, it really does. We live in a world where being selfless is risky, mainly because it’s mistaken for being weak or naive (“why do you do so many things for other people? None cares anyway”). But do I really need anyone to care about what I do? Do I expect them to care about what I do? There are thousands of questions in my head and some of them include these ones: how does care about other people the way we care about ourselves makes us weak in any way? Doesn’t that mean that we’re filled with extra positive energy? Why do we have to judge and have an opinion on everything? Why do we act like we’ve lived multiple lives before and this is just another one we’re living? Why can’t we all work on ourselves and be happy with our lives so we can get rid of negative emotions that cause us pain? Why can’t we help and support each other instead of judging and bringing out mistakes that were made in the past? Maybe it’s just my perception but with all that I wrote above, it’s completely understandable that we choose to stay in our comfort zone and keep our feelings to ourselves. No matter the world we live in, I hope we will all have the strength and courage to be exactly who we are.

I hope the world becomes safe enough for that.

Love, Albesa