Am I slowly getting there?

Wednesday / September 22, 2021. 

I always write when I’m feeling down so I thought it would be a good idea to sit and write today as I’m feeling hopeful. It’s been strange the last couple of days. Even though this year has kicked my ass in ways it had never kicked it before, I can see and feel that I’m in a different place mentally; a muuuuch better place. Of course I still have my dark days when I struggle to see any light, but overall, I notice I’ve made huge progress and I’m proud of myself for that. I feel different,  I’m at a place where I only want to work on myself and my future and do everything in my power to ensure a healthy, fulfilled and balanced life for myself. I want to be more focused on my education which is, besides my mental health of course, my top priority. I want to enjoy my new job to the fullest, and be proud of myself for getting such an amazing job and being able to earn money myself again. Even though it’s a part time job because I’m a student, it’s still just as important. I love teaching kids English, I love hanging out with them and being a part of their progress. It’s very fulfilling and I’m beyond happy and grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given. University is going pretty much okay, I’m a little behind with a couple exams but it’s gonna be fine, I’ll get to that too. I’ve been taking more pictures and being more creative. I’ve been there for myself more than ever lately. And my dear people, it’s lifechaning. Doing your thing, releasing the worries you have about other people’s opinion is such a sensational feeling, you feel so free and empowered to just be your authentic self, it’s amazing. I hope this is the beginning of a new era for me, where I’m the main character of my life, not everyone else. I’m still just as caring but in this phase of life, I’m the priority. I can’t even believe I’m writing this. It’s true that it gets better and I can finally confirm that myself. Might cry tears of joy after writing this story. Looking back, I’ve gone through so much and the fact that I’m still here, breathing, and trying to make something out of my life is just amazing to me. My younger self is so proud, and definitely clapping hard for me! Please look after yourself and be kind to your mind. Please ask for help. Take care of your well-being, water it by doing what you love, by speaking kindly to yourself, and by forgiving yourself over and over again. I haven’t felt like this in a while, so I hope this is the first of many stories with an empowering vibe like this. I’m proud of myself and everyone who’s trying to heal, grow, and move on with their lives. We got this.

♡, Albesa. 

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