‘You care too much’

I’ve always been the one to care more, to care so much in such an intense way. I don’t necessarily hate that about myself, but I don’t necessarily like it either. You know why? Because I could care so much about someone and that still doesn’t guarantee anything. I could care so much about someone and still have to let them go; for my own sake. I’ve gotten taken for a fool, so many times in my life, by so many different people who meant a lot to me. My trust has been taken for granted, the second chances that I’ve given were taken for granted. I’ve been told I was too naive, too nice, too soft, too caring. And at some point in my life, I got really annoyed by it. I thought I had to change because being caring wasn’t taking me anywhere. I was annoyed by the fact that I always wanted to know how someone was doing, and I was annoyed because they probably didn’t care that much about how I was doing. But I’m constantly reminding myself of one thing: that’s them, that’s how they function. And I’m not them. There were moments when I let the critics get into my head which led to me trying to be a bit colder. There were moments when I tried to seem like I cared less than I actually did. But it only made me feel worse; because that’s simply not who I am. When someone is a part of my life, I want to know about their day, in small details preferably. I want to know everything they’re comfortable sharing. I want to know what’s going on with them. I want to know if I can help in any way. That’s me. Sometimes they will do the same for me and sometimes they won’t. Letting them go might hurt for a bit, but you get through it. The thing is that you don’t have to be like me and I don’t have to be like you. And it doesn’t mean one of us sucks or one is better than the other. We’re both just fine. Being more caring and less caring is both fine. Why can’t we criticize a little less and be respectful towards each other a little more? No matter what kinda person you are, the goal is to show the people that you care about them while they’re in your life, not when they leave. Let people know you appreciate them. Do your part. What happens next or how they react is out of your control; what matters the most is that you stay true to yourself, no matter how other people might percieve it. 

Our differences might take us in two different directions, but the respect between us can exist no matter where we end up. 

♡ Albesa  

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