Thursday / October 10, 2019, / World mental health day
If I knew this about two and a half years ago when my depression was at its highest point, I would have saved myself from a lot of sleepless nights full of overthinking, pain, and fear. I can’t go back and be there for my 19-year-old college drop-out, depressed self, but as someone who made it out of the dark room, this is what I have to say to you. Keep these words somewhere in your mind; try to create an idea out of them. Okay?
There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. What the society around you thinks/says about your mental illness is due to ignorance; don’t take it personally. You’re still the same person, with the same qualities, the same values, you’re still as worthy as you were before. Allow yourself to be a complete mess. Allow yourself not to know what to do. Allow yourself to fail. Allow yourself to be whoever you need to be at the moment. Allow yourself to ask for help. But never allow yourself to think that this is it, that your life is over, that things will never be ‘normal’ again or that this is what God, destiny or the universe has planned for you because it really isn’t. There’s so much more to life than wanting to disappear or sleep your pain out. There’s no sleep long enough that makes it better. It only gets better when you grab yourself by the hand and decide to try, try and try, all the time, every day. That’s what life actually is. Things don’t work right away, but you eventually become braver and braver as you challenge yourself to try again. Carry your fear with you, and get out there along with it. I know you feel terrified and think you might die but that thought is not true, not at all. You’re gonna be just fine; that fear of yours is not as strong as you think it is, trust me on this one. Slow down, and breathe. Trust the process. Little by little, day by day, things will start making sense again.
I root for every single one of you who gets to read this story.
You got this.