Explaining yourself and getting over it

I wish my pain could go away as fast as these cars that are effortlessly passing by. I wish my pain could go away as fast as the colors of the traffic lights. I wish my feelings were like a glass of water, but a glass of feelings instead, so I could break it, get rid of it and forget it ever existed. I wish, I wish… It’s a cold rainy day but it’s beautiful. It feels good to go outside, breathe some fresh air and let your thoughts go wherever they need to. No wonder it’s so peaceful, it’s almost 2AM and I’m outside walking around getting my inspiration from this much needed peace. It’s been rough lately so being on my own and writing about it when there’s none around does nothing but good to me. The wind feels like a friend to me, it feels something like a friend’s hand touching your back while they are hugging you. Is that strange? Maybe. Today I realized what I’ve learned from being depressed and here are a couple of things that I wanted to share with you my dear people. First of all and one of the most important things to keep in mind is this one; don’t expect people to understand you or your depression. I realized a long time ago that people usually have a hard time understanding something they haven’t experienced themselves. The second thing that I must mention is this one; while going through the worst time of your life, you’re gonna explain yourself so many times, you’re gonna get exhausted so many times and the worst thing about it is that you’re not gonna gain anything from it. Absolutely anything. There will be times when you’ll be called ‘lazy’ or ‘party-breaker’ and honestly, you’re just gonna have to get over it because there’s nothing much you can do about how people ‘portray’ the consequences of your mental state. The third important thing; you’re eventually gonna stop explaining yourself. You’re just gonna stop. Your energy for those kind of things will come to an end. You’re gonna be exhausted and you’re not gonna want to waste the energy that’s left in you on worrying about what people think but on your recovery. I know it sounds weird, but if you’ve experienced this, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about and if you haven’t yet, wait for it, it’s gonna happen sooner or later. The fourth thing; learn to stay patient, keep trying and be aware that better days are coming sooner than you think. We got this.

Love, Albesa

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